put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
