Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
that may or may not have been my penis.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
