How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
