This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
My cat gives me a boner
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
