Betty ford says i'm here all night
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
