I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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