I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize