the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
