This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
