that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
