The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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