If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
