as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
