I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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