do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
