some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
