We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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