is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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