She's JV to your varsity
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
