I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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