she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
