suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
