I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
