I'm laying in your front yard are you home
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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