"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
