Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
