You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
