no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
