Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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