oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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