she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
