Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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