do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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