But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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