loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize