I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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