your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
