Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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