Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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