Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
and she was petting her beer can
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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