the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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