everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize