This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize