these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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