He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
