Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
