my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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