New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
