your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
