I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize