So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
