The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
