Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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