I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
