I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
