First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
