Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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