I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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