Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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